Friday, 17 June 2011

a certain shade of violet.




There's a glowy thing on my eyebrow...








Ah!  The world tilted sideways!

Hmm, that's better.



outfit details:
dress - Charlotte Russe
heels - American Eagle
bag - gift

To be honest, I'm a little bit nervous posting this - who am I to tell people to think differently of their bodies, even if it's in a more positive way?  What sort of authority on body image am I?  But hey, I'm a girl with probably as many insecurities as the next, so I just want to share my thoughts.

~

“Look at those legs.  Pale, weak, veiny, stubby.  And you think you’ll look halfway decent in that dress?  Oh no, no, no.  You poor, misled child.  You like being pale?  Well, look what it does to you!  You can see every single imperfection, and believe me – there are a lot.  Every dot, vein, bruise, scar.  I mean seriously?  Are those… spider veins?  I thought you weren’t supposed to get those til you were middle-aged!”

The voice in my head could go on – and that’s just the legs.  Any part of my body, you name it, I could tear to pieces with critique.  Any comparison, mention, even complement.  “Your hair looks so cute today!”  “Uh huh, and do you know how much product it took to hold down all the frizz!?  It’s a mess!  Ugh!”  I’m aware that I’m a healthy weight, and it’s not as if I experienced teasing throughout my childhood that distorted my ideas of body image – it’s just that the stupid voice doesn’t shut up.

It’s doubtful you’d notice it if I didn’t say anything.  I’m usually a confident, stress-free person, or outwardly appearing so.  How, then, could I let these insecurities get to me!?  I’m an actress, for crying out loud!  I go on stage by myself and sing, I sing to myself in public (and people give me strange looks), I run down the street with my friends, singing loudly all the while.  Okay, so maybe I’m just a weird person who sings a lot… but either way, how can I do that if I’m insecure?  I’m not the best singer in the world – won’t people criticize that as well?

The answer is, yes.  People criticize and mock; people will do anything to make you doubt yourself, just for a laugh.  But guess what?  They usually don’t.  It’s the same with fashion and general body image as it is with singing.  As with anything you love, you’ve got to take the chance that someone might not like it as much as you.  Sing your heart out, and do it just for yourself, without caring what anyone else thinks.  Love your body – wear that strapless dress because it makes you happy, and don’t be afraid that people will take one look at your arms and turn away.  If you feel beautiful, if you project confidence and happiness, that’s what people will be taken aback by – not your perceived “faults”.  The whispers that you think are “Ugh, do you see that spot on her chin!?” will really be (well, first off, not actually about you, probably – way to be narcissistic!  Just kidding – but secondly: ) “I wonder where she found that dress – the colour looks fantastic on her!”

I don’t know if I meant for this to be a self-help article, a letter of encouragement, or simply a “Good grief!  Just wear the clothes you like; no one cares about or really notices your faults, made up or otherwise” shout-out to myself.  But whatever it is, I hope it helps you feel a little more confident, or something.

“I do believe I’m pretty!  I do, I do!”

Let’s have a little self-love, guys <3

Cheers,
Shayli

7 comments:

  1. This is very good :) I like this, fantastic idea to post it, love :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I certainly know how you feel. I definitely try and make my pictures as flattering as possible.

    I'm glad you shared this, because I know we all feel like this sometimes and it always helps to know that people go through the same thing.

    Also, I love your blog!

    Bridget <3

    ReplyDelete
  3. Haley - Thanks! I'm glad I posted it, too :)

    Bridget - Thank you so much! And I do the same thing with photos - ah, such craziness :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. love the sunlight in these photos, just dreamy!
    www.befrassy.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks so much for the comment on my blog! It means a lot.

    I think I've stopped avoiding lookbook because of it's emphasis on physical beauty.

    And your blog is stunning. The effort really shows and I wish there were more bloggers than you.
    And I noticed that you get things from American Eagle. I always feel so guilty wearing it and posting it on my blog because it just seems to go against the blogger stereotype. Thanks so much! It helps to know I'm not the only one.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I still use Lookbook all the time, but I notice the little things, like you said!

    Thank you so much! :) Haha, in my town, there isn't much in the way of department stores or anything remotely high-fashion, so I work with what I have... which is basically Target, Kohl's, American Eagle, and wow, that's basically it! How sad - everything else I have to order online! xD I'm glad we can be non-stereotypical together :)

    ReplyDelete

Want to make my day? Leave a comment.
Don't want to make my day? Leave a comment anyway!
Include your blog address and I'll take a look.